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Matt Walsh: "An Enthusiastic Young Woman"

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via www.acb.com

Ah, the wonders of the Web translator. You paste in some mundane foreign-language text on one side, and what emerges, like a butterfly from a cocoon, is pure beauty. Absolute poetry. I believe if you entered a poorly-written church bulletin into Babelfish, it would present you with "Ode on a Grecian Urn" just seconds later.

Just look at what was wrought when I used Google Translate to decipher this article on Heat training-camp invitee Matt Walsh. I excerpt here, but it's like a postcard of the Mona Lisa. You really have to see it for yourself.

It is the top scorer in the preseason and it dazzles with his wisdom from a line of three (signed an incredible 9/10 against Akasvayu Girona), but above all it is a lucky man...

Matt Walsh is an enthusiastic young woman who lands in the CBA with a mad desire to win and play...

Peculiar in the personal aspect (it has an eye tattooed on the palm of the hand and is a partner with Playboy girl)...

This article actually made me like Walsh a lot more than the time I saw him kick it around with David Lee and Anthony Roberson on an underachieving Florida team. Welcome, aboard, lucky man.